You just can't make this shit up ...

Initials have been altered to protect the ... meh, I did it just because. Eff it.

OK so after having failed NRS233 Fall semester 2015, I took a semester off because this fail hit me really REALLY hard. I KNOW I should've passed. I KNOW it!! I'm still trying to wrap my head around losing 18 points on exam 5 (74 to 56 ... which the instructor claims was a "transcription error" *blankest of stares*). After passing the poster presentation with 100, I only needed 2.5 points to pass (passing is 75, I was at 72.5 ... they round up). I then lost 5 points on the final. Wait. What??? HUH??? I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

The final was a 100 question exam; 50 med-surg/50 psychiatric nursing questions... so you mean to tell me that I got 41 questions wrong? You tryna tell me that I bombed THAT bad on med-surg? But my med-surg clinical instructor (and every other clinical instructor I've had since semester 1) said that I was clinically sound and this particular instructor trusted me enough to D/C THREE IVs without supervision??? Or are you tryna say I sucked at psych that bad?? But I passed clinical (that instructor ALSO said I was clinically sound and a pleasure to work with), my last psych exam was an 80 AND I handed in a well written opinion piece on "The New Asylum" documentary.

Naw, son. That ain'teem possible! I was angry ... depressed. I lost all drive to move forward in this nursing journey. I seriously went through all 5 stages of the Kubler-Ross model. Twice. You could've used an abacus, Chinese math, a Texas Instruments calculator, fingers, toes ... hell, the Antikythera Mechanism. Shit just didn't add up ...

1 + 1 = rice pudding. Wait, no. 1 + 1 = seashells. No no NO!! 1 + 1 = 3.14159265359. SHIT!!!! See?

After I got myself together, I went to the program administrator (Prof. M) (this was the beginning of January ... a week before the new semester started). She was a former clinical instructor so she knew me ... and my work. I sat with her and she told me no, I couldn't re-enter the evening program (NRS233) because I had repeated NRS108 previously. "I have to be fair to everyone". Fine. I ask her what my next step is and she says I can come into the LPN program, semester 3, since I've already passed my first year RN. I'd have to get approval from the head of the department (Dr. E). I Went to Dr. E's office as soon as I left Prof. M. I explained to Dr. E what I needed and her secretary gave a call to the LPN program director, Prof. L, explaining that she had an RN student that needed to get into the LPN program. He was all "sure, yes, send her down to me"...

So I get to his office (this is all within 45 minutes mind you) and introduce myself. We chat and he says to me you shouldn't have a problem getting into LPN. I'll just need your test-offs from 108 (side note: you cant move on to each semester in nursing unless you pass, among a multitude of other criteria, the hands on skills test offs (in my case, tracheostomy suctioning/care, IV administration, wound care and Foley catheter insertion and removal) (which I had), plus your ATI score because you must achieve a minimum of Level 2 (which I did ... was just a matter of printing it out). He said he'd also need a letter of intent to apply to LPN to put in my file. Fine! I'm in LOL

Fast forward to March. I follow up with Prof. L over the phone after sending him my letter of intent. This is where the shit gets wonky and I'm side-eyeing this whole operation. He proceeds to tell me that I'll need to take the ATI all over again PLUS re-do the hands on test offs. Da fuq? <this is where I bite my tongue and politely explain that that wasn't what he told me in January ... to which he  was like "well that's the way it is" *needle scratches over vinly record* Wooo and saaaah. I make another appointment with Dr. E (you see where this is going, right?) Soooooo ... The meeting with Dr. E lasted 3 minutes with her telling me that it's policy that students test into this program. (Um ... but I already passed all the requirements needed. *blank stare*)

So now I wait for the email from Prof L as to when we take this exam/test off. I get the email and it's in THAT email that he casually mentions make sure you see the front desk secretary for the form to take to the bursar's office to pay for the exam.

Now I'm seething. SEETHING. Ain't nobody got tahm fa alladat! So again, I bite my tounge (it's a wonder I have any left SMH) I scrape together the fee, take the exams and pass. So now I'm in LPN103

Now that ya'll are up to date (LOL), I'm gonna be documenting this LPN journey, because ... well, call me Conspiracy Chick, but ... *sigh*

Ya'll be easy.

~z